It is a conditioning of life especially in my life of a
scientist to have an analytical approach – continually assessing and positioning;
to be sceptical of any claims or opinions until there is supporting evidence.
Certainly this works well in the tasks for my day job but for relationships
including those in professional life this approach doesn’t work so well.
The third stage of the Active Hope spiral is ‘to see with new
eyes’. Every now and then I’m reminded of the power of kindness and compassion and
to be challenged to see the world through the ‘soft gaze’ of compassion and kindness.
But what does it mean to live each day with kindness – is it seeking out
someone to provide acts of charity to, some unsuspecting soul that I can
provide assistance to? Well that might be the consequence but it is much deeper
than that – to see the good in everyone that requires both strength and
gentleness and to leave behind any sense of judgement and critiquing as is our
modern way. Kindness is having the
ability to speak with love, listen with patience and act with compassion. I
like the concept of kindness creates a ripple that extends far and wide with no
logical end. It may be reflected back but it may just as easily eventually dissipate. We just put it out there with no expectations.
Well I’ve been finding out just how hard it is. One day recently
I started the day primed to have that soft gaze of kindness but there it was
laid bare soon afterwards on my ride to work when a cyclist directed some
unwarranted anger towards me and by instinct I reacted with my hackles raised
for that brief interaction. It is one thing to show kindness when all is going
well but when poked and provoked can I respond with kindness. Mmm…that takes
time to be attentive and persevere.
Paying it forward
In a recent edition of Dumbo Feather there was a focus on the
movement to pay it forward. People are encouraged to make random gestures of
kindness to strangers. This actually happened to me a little while ago when my lunch
time walking crew ventured to a coffee
place in West Perth and were offered a free coffee from someone who had paid
for it earlier. I was taken aback but inwardly pleased. I was reminded of the
parable of the talents and to use what gifts we have for the benefit of others.
Apparently the neurological studies of kindness and paying it
forward clearly show the health benefits and positive well-being impacts. If it only it was a bit easier…
The Dalai Lama sums it up: This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for
complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your
philosophy is simple kindness.
Or that other philosopher Dr Seuss adds: Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get
better. It’s not.
Kindness as a series of unending ripples.
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